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Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Tipping Point

     There comes a time in everyone's life when they have to make decisions.  For some, they come easy.  For me, not so much.  I am a worrier.  Always have been.  I go to a catastrophic place all the time.  I what-if myself out of a lot.  I listen to the negatives that everyone throws at me, but none of the positives.  I also have a really bad track record with making decisions.  Most of the time I want to do something so badly that I just jump in. Headfirst. With no lifejacket. So now I find myself here, at my tipping point, making life-altering decisions.

I'm in a new relationship.
I just signed a lease for my own place.
I will be unpacking all of the things from my previous life and putting them on display.
I will be really starting my new life over, in a new location, just myself and my boys.
I am going with my gut for the first time in a long time.
I am scared out of my damn mind.

     This comes at a time for me when so many things in my life are in flux.  I am on the path of my second firsts and it was just right.  I cannot be a scared little girl under the wing of my parents anymore.  They have done so much for me, and for that I am FOREVER grateful.  As scary as this tipping point is, it is something that needs to happen.  I cannot and will not spin my wheels in the mud any longer.  I have to allow myself to know that I can do this my myself, and the only way I will learn that is to just do it.

I need to learn how to live again.
I need to learn how to love again.
I need to learn how to be loved again.
I need to learn that it is okay to go forward.
I need to learn that going forward does not mean forgetting.
I need to learn that change is good yet uncomfortable.
I need to learn that comfort for the sake of not changing isn't necessarily a good thing.

Like I said, there comes a time in everyone's life when they have to make decisions.

Today, I have made mine.

   



4 comments:

  1. To quote your earlier post 'this shit really is hard', but it does sound like things are slightly better for you, even if it doesn't feel like it. Keep strong xx
    Suzanne @ Suzannes-Tribe
    xx

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    1. Things are definitely looking up, but in crazy flux. I'm doing what I know is right, but it is scary! Thanks for your kind words!

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  2. {{HUGS}} and good vibes to you all! Things are looking brighter and more positive!

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    1. It was a very sudden upswing, but certainly more positive!!

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