Hi there! This has taken me 9 long months to be able to get to, but I think I am able to share. I am a 35 year old woman whose relatively healthy husband dropped dead of a heart attack a month shy of his 38th birthday. I am now a single girl, single mom, and fairly sarcastic human adrift in this crazy sea of widowhood like a boat with no anchor.
It is amazing to get that phone call that changes your life. You are sitting there, having a beer with friends, and the phone rings. You let it go to voicemail because you don't want to be rude. Then it rings again. And again. You dial your voicemail to hear an unfamiliar voice on the other end of the line telling you your husband was taken to the hospital. You call his work, and they tell you it isn't good. Your friend drives you to the hospital because you can barely breathe, and when you get there they take you to the "bad news room". 45 minutes later your world changes FOREVER. You are a widow. You have to tell your kids that they are going to grow up without a dad. You talk to someone on the other end of your phone giving permission to harvest your husband's tissue, bones, and corneas. You talk to a funeral director and realize you can't afford anything but turning your beautiful, amazing, love of your life into a box of ashes. You have an amazing memorial service that a few people attend. You come face to face with your own mortality and a new reality.