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Saturday, April 5, 2014

Everything in excess

      One interesting thing I have discovered about myself now that I am navigating this interesting new life I have is that I do everything to much more excess than I ever did before.  This is both a huge positive and a huge negative.

I latch on to friendships much more fiercely. 
I obsess about trivial things to the point where they induce so much anxiety in me that I cannot sleep. I go out too much for a month, then I will hibernate in my room for a month.
I will go days without communicating with anyone, then it will be all anyone can do to get me to shut up. 
I make mountains out of molehills.
I talk too loud and drink too much. 
I binge eat.
I work out in obsessive fits and starts.
I have a lot of first dates, not a lot of second dates.
I emotionally latch on to people that should just be casual acquaintances and push away people that should be lifelong friends.
I am too cavalier with who I share myself with.
I forget that not all people who smile at you are your friends.
I look for the good in people, sometimes making it up when I can't find any, just to not have to remove the person from my life.
I'm so obsessed with maintaining a perfect GPA that anything less than an A puts me in the foulest mood imaginable.

The word moderation isn't even in my vocabulary anymore. 


6 comments:

  1. I wonder if it will come back into your life (moderation) as you continue to navigate. Like if you were to read back this post next year how the extremes might have balanced themselves out.

    betty

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    Replies
    1. I didn't even think about revisiting this post in a year. What a fabulous idea!

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  2. I was a young widow with small kids too. My hubby died when I was 27 leaving me with our 3 & 5 year old boys. It was rough that first year and I went through the same thing. Happily, it adjusted over time.

    Elsie
    AJ's wHooligan in the A-Z Challenge

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Elsie!! It is nice to know that things will adjust for me. I'm about a year and a half out now and while some things have gotten much easier, some things still need some work!

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  3. Replies
    1. I am currently a student in psychology. I want to focus my graduate work on neuropsychology, with emphasis on children.

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