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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Zigging and Zagging

     Sometimes, life throws you curveballs.  Sometimes they are expected, like a new baby or a graduation or a new job.  Sometimes they are unexpected like failing a test you studied for or losing a job unexpectedly, or death of a loved one.  Adjusting to these huge changes, whether positive or negative causes ripples in everything.

Ripples in your schedule.
Ripples in communication.
Ripples in the fabric of your life.

     So you zig. And you zag. You make all of the necessary adjustments as to disrupt your existence as little as possible. Some will zigzag better than others.  Some will just absorb the unexpected and roll with with it.  Some fight the unexpected with everything that they have in their bodies, and the change will bend and twist them in to strange things that they never were before. Like lightning strikes, the zigs and zags can sometimes cause destruction, but open the way for new things to flourish.
     Me? I'm kinda tired of the zigging and zagging.  I have made more adjustments in the last 18 months than I can deal with.  I have tried to be optimistic about it, tried to be open to suggestions and help, tried to accept this new normal as the way things are now, but I'm tired of it.  I just want to put down roots in my own space, for my own life, and make it as I want it. Not as these curveballs have changed it to be.  Nothing is as I always imagined my someday life to be.

Zip. Zilch. Nada.

I suppose that is the price you pay for having a great love.


  1. You made it through A/Z! Congrats on that, but sorry about the circumstances that put you where you are at.


    1. Thanks!!! As my first one it was definitely difficult, but rewarding. Thank you so much for all of your comments, support and feedback!!

  2. I like the zigging and sagging of life. It keeps me guessing!

    And YAY! You did it! I woke up this morning and wonder what I'll write about. Any ideas?

    1. I wish I knew what to write about too!! Its been quite the emotional ride!!

  3. This is Sara from After Somehow. I just ran through a few of your last blog posts..didn't think I would find it so hard, but I did. It's not exactly that I felt alone, but more like I've been trying to explain how I feel, and it feels something like nice (but not b/c that is a weird word for any of this) to see someone with a similar outlook. I'm only just over 3 months into my life with K, so it's interesting to hear your experiences after much longer. Love to you, will keep reading.


    1. I'm glad I can provide some hope for you. The first months are so raw and hard, it is really hard to see anything other than the grief. Much love to you, it is quite the roller coaster ride!