Surviving. That word holds a lot of weight for me now. I always though it odd to see that word in obituaries..."he/she is survived by....". I didn't survive anything when B died. We weren't put in a life threatening situation together where I made it through and he didn't. He just went on without me. Now, my day to day life is a survival.
Every night when I go to bed I have survived another day of the "new normal". Every day I wake up I have survived another night of sleeping alone in a big empty bed with nothing but my rambling thoughts to keep me company. Every day (at least for this month) I have tried to write something about this journey through young widowhood. Then that gets me thinking about all of the other kind of survivors that are out there: Survivors of cancer. Survivors of tragedy. Survivors of the loss of a child. Survivors of the loss of a parent. Survivors of war. Survivors of trauma.
Is their surviving different than mine? Is it better? Is it worse? I wonder what they think of their survival...do they feel like heroes or do they feel cheated? Does the word survivor mean different things to different people?
I have always thought that the word survivor should be used when one overcomes something horrific. One doesn't SURVIVE a bad day at work, you just deal with it. You SURVIVE a car accident that you were injured in. I suppose it is all in the wording, and since I am considered a survivor, I have a tendency to not use the word very lightly. I suppose I can see the confusion surrounding it though. My mom always told me that just because I don't find something incredibly stressful (having been through all of the crap I have been through in my life), doesn't mean others feel the same way. It is all subjective. On a scale of 1-10, what is a 2 for me could be someone else's 10. I suppose it is all a matter of perspective.
Tell me, are there any words you feel can be used in a subjective way? What do you feel about the word SURVIVOR?