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Wednesday, April 9, 2014


     There are days when widowhood feels something like a half-life.  You're going along in your perfectly full life, with a whole family and a happy home and your cute little shared space, content and blissfully unaware of what it would be like if all of a sudden it wasn't there anymore.

And then is isn't.

You become a half.  The left over half.  The left behind half.  The half that will always be missing a piece and will never quite be whole again.  The half that now has all the responsibility of a whole, only with half the will to do it. Half the time to do it. Half the skill set to do it.

I'm  hoping that this half-life, like most other things with a half-life, will reduce into nothing.  My half-life will fade away, being replaced by a full life.  A life where I took the responsibility of raising two impressionable young boys all on my own and they turn out okay.  A life where I graduate from school and do everything with my newfound knowledge that I have ever wanted to do.  A life where I find the time to do everything I have to do and still have the time to do what I want to do.  A life where I find that other half that doesn't fit perfectly, but fits right enough that you can hardly see the cracks. Maybe not a full life, but most certainly a 9/10 life.

That would certainly be better than the half I'm living in right now.


  1. Seems like a reasonable goal to try to get to 9/10.


    1. I thought so. I just want people to realize that there is more grief than wandering around lost. Setting goals is important to the healing process!

  2. I'm hope you reach your 10. Your writing is beautiful,
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