Jealousy has a way of worming itself into my life no matter how hard I try to keep it out. Broken down most simply: I am jealous of those who have a partner to go home to. Jealous of all the advantages that go along with having a life partner. Jealous of the things that partnered people get to experience every day without even giving it a second thought.
The comfort in making their favorite meal.
Their smell when they get out of the shower.
Coming home from a particularly harsh day at work to your favorite ice cream in the freezer.
The butterflies you still get in the pit of your stomach when they kiss you, no matter how many years it has been.
Getting a text or a phone call at lunch just to check in and say hi.
Having someone else to help with errands and activities and housework.
The completely relaxed feeling you get when you are snuggled up watching a movie together on the couch while the kids are sleeping.
Date nights.
I don't particularly like that jealousy has gotten into my life this way. It is eating away little bits of my personality. Making me bitter. Making me snippy. Dulling the sheen on my rose-colored glasses outlook on life.
I want the green eyed monster to go back to the cave from whence he came and stop torturing me.
I have experienced what you describe, more than once. I'm on my third marriage and it is finally a very happy one. I was going to give up before we found each other.
ReplyDeleteI found some girlfriends to go hang out with and forced myself to get out there and be a part of the world. It's hard ... been there, done that.
I wish much happiness! ~ susan
I so thoroughly enjoy hearing from people who have been in the same boat as me!! It gives me hope for the future, and hope is something that is hard to come by right now
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